The Ultimate Bull Shit System

My company purchased a payroll software called UBS (User Business System). I have encountered some hitch here and there and some can be solved although the consultant said, “This is the first time I heard of this” or when the consultant and I followed the instructions written by one of the colleagues step-by-step, it didn’t work.

It is that time of the year to propose bonus and to do a few simulations as to what is the payout would be like. Most of the employees are not with the company for a year, so whatever we proposed will be on a prorated amount. So I went to the bonus section, and all I could see was “months” or “percentage”. However, I am neither paying by the same month rate for everyone nor by percentage. Our range is between 0.5 months to 2 months. Anyway, even if the company decided to declare 2 months bonus for all, and I key in 2 months, it will not prorate for me. When I asked the consultant, he said it cannot be done. He said I got to do it manually. What?? Means I got to calculate in Excel and then print out and then key-in the figure. But I told him, it is a very basic HR requirement and I am sure every company do have people who join less than a year. He further said that I am the 1st person who asked this question. Really BS! (Pardon my language). It is funny, if UBS asked for date joined, and then when month end when we do the salary, it will automatically calculate what the new employee will get if he/she did not join the complete month. So why can’t it do for bonus??? I told him, if nobody ask you this question before, then all the HR people are hopeless. Hello, I am in HR for 16 years!

So I guess UBS is only for companies who only give out bonus to employees who are with the company for one year and above or it is not for a company who has employees who joined less than a year, or gives out fixed-month bonuses.

What else can’t UBS do:-

• Can’t churn out a report for you if you want to see the whole employees’ list. If you want designation, years of experience, increment, etc – it can only fit limited information and does not have any indication to say that it cannot fit in one page.
• If you want to pay salary earlier to Malays or Chinese first, there is no way to segregate it. I had to make the Malays pay under Bank and the rest of the races pay by cheque. So when I want to give the info to the bank, I will just query those pay by Bank, so for this time since all the Malays are paid by bank, their names will come out first. Then when I want to pay the rest of the employees, I got to do the same to the Malays. So troublesome.
• Can’t count prorated bonus. Their function is only by months or percentage and this is only for those who have worked one year or more. Less than one year, no bonus???
  

I called this system – the Ultimate Bullshit System. My advise to HR Managers or Payroll Managers, don’t buy UBS and before you invest in any system, please do a trial run. Even the most expensive system like SAP, will have its own limitations! These vendors are out there to rip off!

Where's the logic?

EN and I are pianists at church and we take turns to play. The most cumbersome part is when I have to play for JC. The songs he chose always do not have notes. Many times, JC goes out of tune. EN usually can due damage control to play to the key they are singing to. Sometimes in vain. Especially after singing one song, and if he doesn't want and intro into the next song, then 'koyak" dy. And one time EN played a chord, but they didn't listen. How un-nerving. A week later, he realized that his singing on that Sunday was bad, tell me that it is because EN doesn't know chiinese. What??? Where is the logic? I explained to him nicely that knowing or not knowing chinese has nothing to do with this. To always be safe and get the correct note/key, it is better to have an intro, especially if the 1st song is not in the same key as the 2nd song. He better attend singing and listening classes. I didn't tell EN this. Sigh!

7th SMSP Reunion - Day 1

This year we are off to the North - Pulau Langkawi from August 31-September 2. We took the evening flight, as Melody Choir had to present that day. After the presentation, I went straight to KL Sentral where I waited for Bill. He came by taxi from his house and he paid for the taxi under his company. We managed to reach on time where the rest have already check-in. The driver was very slow. The flight was not full and glad that I can still check-in despite my experience to Kuching.
When we arrived at Langkawi, we were greeted by Pemmy. We picked up the Avanzas and drove straight to Malibest. Although Malibest was kind of hidden, the room was value for money, clean and spacious (except for the leak on the 2nd night). It was only RM130 per room per night and when I open the door, it is just a stone throw to the beach and sea. I shared with NY. The welcome dinner was at Yacht Club. After dinner, we chose our babies and viewed a short powerpoint presentation. Since today is the 31st, the youngsters went to Baskin Robbins for a treat. We had games under a tree top at night and played till almost 3am.

Two Precious Hugs!

YTH came back for 2 weeks from Dallas and he asked me out for birthday dinner on August 13. Before that I was contemplating, I wanna hug him, but don't know how. How to make it natural? I have only hugged him once, and that was probably the 8 or 9 years ago on his birthday. After that, the common friends we had, we hug each other and gave each other a peck on both cheeks. But when it was our turn, we both never did to each other. Dinner was at Sakae Sushi at Bangsar Village. Waited for him and when he finally came, i just did it very naturally and we hugged. Walla, it was easy. I DID IT! I guess it was not awkward as he is exposed to seeing this in US, so it must be natural to him. The dinner was so, so and not that expensive. But it is the company that counts, and time we spent to catch up. I missed him! As the saying goes "Spending pleasant moments together will just create emotional bonding". After the dinner, we went to say hello to some friends and then he has to meet up another friend for drinks. He wanted to walk me down, I said not necessary. Again, I took the opportunity, gave him another hug again. It was a good birthday present. :) Will never forget that day.

August 2, 2008

Another August 2... What did I do today? In the morning, I went with Mom to the Ampang house to see the pool and other sample pools and took some pictures. Went pass the house which the China boy was tortured and murdered. After that, we went to KLCC to redeem my Citibank points, as i wanted a hairdryer. So it was a birthday gift. The hairdryer was huge! And then I thought since Clinique has promotion, i will see if what I wanted to buy will reach RM310 to get the gift. And when they wanted me to write my name again, I asked again??? She also mention that I will get a voucher when it is my birthday. I told her today is my birthday and I never got one. In addition, I have been using Clinique since 1985! They gave me a free make-up. Later in the afternoon I went to YS, Sungai Way to buy a handphone for dad as his was stolen, then sent in my phone to be serviced as it shuts off by itself once in a while. At night, parents and I attended the Ping Wah Alumni 34th Anniversary dinner at Oriental Pavillion, Jaya 33. My first time there. That's how I spent my birthday.

2nd Payoll Experience

Firstly, an update - did that guy whom i overpaid pay back? Yes he did, after many chasing. He finally paid on July 30. I got to use an excuse that I need to close June Salary, so that I could pay the rest of your colleagues. I thought that he would have ignored me. In my opinion, he would have used up the money and waited for his salary to come out then pay me.

July payroll - still not used to the system. Unable to fix a Fixed Allowance, and many people got an extra RM1300.00. Luckily I saw that... Only one person from RK Bina left out from the payroll. Rectified that already.

Bad Experience Before the End of 42!

July 25-27 - the weekend before I turn 43. One SMSPian, AW will be getting married today and I will be attending the wedding dinner tonite. And since a few SMSPians are going and since some are in the committee fot the 7th SMSP Reunion, DF said let's meet up to discuss before the dinner. So I thought this weekend I would spend the weekend away, book a hotel room, and therefore there won't be curfew. JN agreed to stay with me. I checked all hotels around town and later found Federal Hotel the cheapest and I booked online. And only found out yesterday that I booked the wrong date! Instead of July 25, it was July 23. I didn't check. How could this happen? I don't believe this! And after going through the horrible traffic, I got to know this. And Federal Hotel don't even have its own parking anymore. I got to park at Low Yat. We then went to check Capitol and Coronade, all fully booked. Then we met up with S & M at Green Lotus for dinner and I made some calls. Most of the hotels are fully booked. We checked Piccolo and then hotels along Agora, then to Hicks Road- Imperial, Radius, Allson, etc... Only Flamingo which is in Ulu Klang. So tired, after all the walking...
When we reached Flamingo, I asked the guard where to park. He pointed left and we went to the basement. It was Plaza Flamingo! We carried our bags and walked so far to the lobby. And after registering, we have to walk so far again to our block - from one end to the other. After dropping our bags and taking a deep breath, we walked out again to get our cars to go watch a movie. When we reached the parking, we didn't have enough RM3 coins to put in the parking machine. We thought ok, let's take a cab to Pavillion. But 2 cabs didnt want to stop for us. We called S and told her we are not coming, as it is already 11.35pm. But she insist that she & M wait for us. We found the guard at the parking and asked him for RM3 change. We then quickly drove to Pavillion but faced with a terrible jam just before Pavillion. Watched Wanted. Although we were late for 20 minutes, we didn't miss much. It was a good movie and it was a treat from JN as well as for dinner for an early birthday celebration. It was my first time to Pavillion and re-living it coz it was ex BBGS premise. Something to remember for my birthday. What an unforgetable birthday!
On the next day, after breakfast, I followed JN to Sungai Wang for his haircut. Then we went to Low Yat where we met for the first time Jan. had light lunch and then we came back to the hotel to rest. AYC, EL & DF came at about 5.30pm and we had a discussion on the trip. It was perfect as there is a dining table enough space for the discussion. I told them my experience the night before and EL asked, did you book the correct date for Langkawi, I replied, I have already checked and it is correct. Just imagine, this mistake is for one person, Langkawi will be for 13 people!
Flamingo couldn't be more perfect venue as it is convenient to Nikko Hotel. SMSP had a table, and we had 9 people. After AW's wedding, we went to Ole Cafe in Hicks Road. Nice place. And after that, we all went our separate ways.

1st Timer Payroll Person's Horror

Person chosen to do payroll refuse to take payroll. So i got to do it. It is my 1st time hands-on on payroll. This makes my tour of HR complete. Not only was it my 1st time doing payroll, but it is the first time the Company uses computerised system, using UBS and my 1st time using it of course.

So June 2008, we went live. There were so many mistakes, let's start with the light ones...

1) My boss's IC number was keyed-in wrongly. The advise has not been sent to Maybank yet. there was time to change.

2) A guy resigned, and I forgot to deduct an overpayment of RM345. Luckily salary has not been credited yet. The advise went to Maybank so i need to send another advise.

3) Another guy resigned, I overpay him RM1800+ ! Hope he pays back.

4) One girl's salary was wrongly credited into someone else's account. I keyed-in the wrong account number. Luckily the other person didn't finish the money.

Whoa! All rectified except for No 3. I must make sure these errors are not made again!!!!!

Mumblings among the rumblings @ RK

On Tuesday, a minute before I stepped into the office, some rumblings just happened. M was seen crying and the girls were relating stories to me of what have just happened. Overwhelmed, I laid down my bag and went to the general area and I saw C. Before I uttered a word, C said, forget it. D came to my place and told me to have a word with C. I went over to C's place and he said "what do you think you guys want to do" in cantonese. I just told him to meet me at the Conference Room. Ten minutes passed, he didn't show up. So I called C and told him that I have been waiting for 10 minutes. He slammed down the phone on me.
Here is how these things happened.
C's colleague, ML came and told me on Monday that she is changing pc with CKY and she has informed C. And after 5 minutes, I realised that I shouldn't have let her, I called her and said better not change now untl C comes back as i don't know if all the info has been transferred out. Moreover what CKY did was for another company and ML is for another company. ML asked me to call C, but I told her, no, I don't want to disturb him as he is attending training. I wrote an email to C cc M.

Dear C

ML has informed me that she will be changing her entire pc with CKY's. There are several issues here.
1) Why? What’s wrong with her pc?
2) You will be having a new colleague coming in August 08. Not just because someone left, she can just change. Like last time, after MN left, she just went over to exchange the mouse without informing me.
3) There are information stored in CKY’s pc. I am not sure if ML can have access to those information.
4) If she wants a better pc or monitor, then it should be based on seniority.

Kindly liaise with M as she is now in charge of assets movement and administration.

When C came back on Tuesday, he didn't read my email. And at the same time, just as C walked in, he saw ML changing the pc helplessly. She was having trouble with the cables. C told her why don't we all do this at 5pm, but she didn't listen. So C helped her, and immediately M called C and said what are you doing? Didn't you read E's email? He put down the phone. Then M walked over, and asked, you are still going to change? C said, stay out of this, if you don't change ML will leave and who will do her things? According to M, C pointed the finger at her. That's when I walked in. M was crying...

I have since talked to both and asked both to put each in each other's shoes.

RP has always been so busy body. TC and I went for lunch. We talked about the above incident a bit. Then when RP came, he overheard,and wanted to dig more. He asked what happened lah. TC said he was there, he can't tell coz everything is in chinese. It was just mumblings.... And he turned to me, tell-lah, what happened. Sorry, I was not in the office yet. I told RP, next time, you wanna know, come earlier to the office. ha ha ha...

Gawai Festival

A day before I attended the 19th World Chinese Christian Church Music Conference, I stayed at the Damai Beach Resort for a night. Nothing spectacular, and was full of people as Sarawak celebrates Gawai Festival for 3 days. Didn't manage to go to Bako National Park as there were no sign-ups for it. Good also, as it rained the next morning. Here is a write-up on Gawai Festival.

Gawai Day or Gawai Dayak, a festival celebrated in Sarawak on 1 June every year is both a religious and social occasion. The word Gawai means a ritual or festival whereas Dayak is a collective name for the native ethnics of Sarawak; Iban, Bidayuh, Kayan, Kenyah, Kelabit, Lun Bawang and others. Thus, Gawai Dayak literally means "Dayak Festival". Dayak would visit their friends and relatives on this day. Such visit is more known as "ngabang" in Iban dialect. Those far away would receive greeting cards.
It all started back in 1957 in a radio forum held by Mr Ian Kingsley, a radio programme organiser. This generated a lot of interest among the Dayak community.
The mode of celebration varies from place to place. Preparation starts early. Tuak (rice wine) is brewed (at least one month before the celebration) and traditional delicacies like penganan (cakes from rice flour, sugar and coconut milk) prepared. As the big day approaches, everyone will be busy with the general cleaning and preparing food and cakes. On Gawai Eve, glutinous rice is steamed in bamboo (ngelulun pulut). In the longhouse, new mats will be laid out on the ruai (an open gallery which runs through the entire length of the longhouse). The walls of most bilik (rooms) and the ruai are decorated with Pua Kumbu (traditional blanket). A visit to clean the graveyard is also conducted and offerings offered to the dead. After the visit it is important to bathe before entering the longhouse to ward off bad luck.
The celebration starts on the evening of 31 May. In most Iban longhouses, it starts with a ceremony called Muai Antu Rua (to cast away the spirit of greed), signifying the non-interference of the spirit of bad luck in the celebration. Two children or men each dragging a chapan (winnowing basket) will pass each family's room. Every family will throw some unwanted article into the basket. The unwanted articles will be tossed to the ground from the end of the longhouse for the spirit of bad luck.
Around 6 pm or as the sun sets, miring (offering ceremony) will take place. Before the ceremony, gendang rayah (ritual music) is performed. The Feast Chief thank the gods for the good harvest, ask for guidance, blessings and long life as he waves a cockerel over the offerings. He, then, sacrifices the cockerel and a little blood is also used together with the offerings.
Once the offering ceremony is done, dinner is then served at the ruai. Just before midnight, a procession up and down the ruai seven times called Ngalu Petara (welcoming the spirit gods) is performed. During this procession, a beauty pageant to choose the festival's beauty queen and king (Kumang & Keling Gawai) is sometimes conducted. Meanwhile, drinks, traditional cakes and delicacies are served.
At midnight, the gong is beaten to call for the celebrants to attention. The longhouse Chief (tuai rumah) or Festival Chief will lead everyone to drink the Ai Pengayu (normally tuak for long life) and at the same time wishing each other "gayu-guru, gerai-nyamai" (long life, health and prosperity). The celebration by now will get merrier. Some will dance to the traditional music played. Others will sing the pantun (poems). In urban areas, Dayak will organise gatherings at community centres or restaurants to celebrate the evening.
Other activities that may follow the next few days include cock-fighting matches, blowpipe and ngajat competitions. On this day, 1 June, homes of Dayaks is opened to visitors/guests.
Traditionally, when the guests arrive at the longhouse, they will be received with the ai tiki to welcome the guests. From time to time, guests will be served tuak. This would be called nyibur temuai or literally means watering of guests.
Christian Dayak normally attend a church mass service to thank God for the good harvest.
Gawai Dayak celebration may last for several days. Visitors/Guests are most welcome to the homes of the Dayak during the festival. It is also during this time of the year that many Dayak weddings take place, as it is one of the rare occasions that all the members of the community comes home to the ancestral long house.
Up till 1962, British colonial government still refused to give recognition to the Dayak Day. Gawai Dayak was formally gazetted on 25 September 1964 as a public holiday in place of Sarawak Day. It was first celebrated on 1st June 1965 and became a symbol of unity, aspiration and hope for the Dayak community. Today, it is an integral part of Dayak social life. It is a thanksgiving day marking good harvest and a time to plan for the new farming season or activities ahead.

Air Asia or Air Frustration?

I overslept, but I made it on time for ERL, etc. until except at LCCT. Left Kuching yesterday by Air Asia, and would you believe it, I was there 45 minutes before flight time. The 2 lines were so long. So it doesn't matter what time people got there, there were more people coming after me. One line was so slow, and I switched to the next lane which moved faster. But when it reached my turn, the officer said, the flight is overbooked. You got to go on the next flight. What??? How can it be overbooked? It was not when I booked it, then stop it so that people can't book any tickets. He asked to go another counter to check-in. Another more senior officer at the other lane explained to other passengers that it was a technical error. The earlier officer didn't even say sorry. He said you send email lah. I did after some searching around.

20 hours of rest & 4 hours awake?

This Koala is super active. Gets along well with Zippy. There is a set of instructions of dos and donts. No human food, no going out of the house, do not play with big dogs and plenty of rest, at least 20 hours!!! What??? It seems that she likes to be awake. And this is opposite of me, I sleep only 4 hours and 20 hours awake! Ha!

Hello Koala

On April 4, parents and I went to see a Golden Retriever puppy at Petsmore. I paid a deposit as we had to go back to Alor Setar. So on April 7, we picked up the puppy, paid RM1480 in total and the next day had her checked by Dr Yeoh. Passed! She was without a name for a few days, as we were cracking our heads. She is so tiny, only 6 weeks. Looks like any softtoys. One of our stuffed Koalas look like her, so we called her Koala. So adorable!

So Calculative!

A friend seeked a HR advise from me and this is the story - Elly has signed up for a study course which takes 2 1/2 years to complete. The classes starts at 5pm, 3 times a week. Thus, she has to leave one hour early from work. She has discussed this with the CEO, which he agrees that it is a good course for her development as well as helping her work in the office in the future. He also agreed that she can go off at 5pm without having to make up the lost in hours. I did tell her about making up the 3 hours, but she said that the CEO has told her no need. I left it at that. Due to some complaints last week, there is a change. I asked her to work an hour extra on the other 2 days she doesn't have class. She said no. CEO said no need, then you cannot say now you need to make it up. Then i said, why don't you work from 8am - 5pm? She said no. But she can work at 8.30am to 5pm for 3 days, and the rest till 6pm. She said, if like that, she prefers that we deduct her salary. Another option was to only take lunch for 30 minutes, she said, no way.
My comment - people nowadays expect so much. This type of courtesy goes without asking if I have to make up the hours. Automatically, one should be polished & professional enough to offer to make up the hours. Sigh!

7th SMSP Reunion Discussion Begins

The 4 of us met yesterday, March 20, 2008 at Burger King, Kelana Giant. It was a holiday, and was attended by the oranges, Eric, Ang & Dennis. The flight tickets were already bought and now left with accommodation and activities. I am applying the principles of True Colors... Orange people are the best in organizing the activities. Only sad thing is we see 3 SMSP members leaving the country, and 2 of them are potential people to join the trip. Now we have 12 people confirm and hope we can get more.
I broke a secret to dear Eric. As I was purchasing the Air Asia tickets for all, due to rushing, I accidentally changed Eric's surname. It is now Eric Chan Ling. p) Luckily the IC number is correct.

No More Hot Drinks on Bus...

I went to Singapore on last Friday evening for UWSP reunion. I took Aeroline, a luxury bus and it was my first time. I took the 4.30pm bus and at that time it is a single deck. We were given a set meal and mineral water. I didn't want to eat as I had a late lunch. So I set it aside and was listening to the radio via my handphone.
About an hour water, the cabin crew went around taking orders for hot drinks. I ordered hot coffee. The hot boiling coffee came and I opened the food tray which is underneath the arm rest. Later I was told that once I opened the food tray, I should cover back the arm rest. As I didn't, the tray was a bit slanting downwards. In single deck bus, there is no cup holder. So I put it in the area for cups, not deep. As I was peeling the coffeemate into my coffee, the bus started to turn a bit and in a blink of the eye, the whole hot boiling cup of coffee poured onto my lap and stomach and because it was so hot, I quickly swept the cup away, but it was already too late. Damage was done. I called out to the cabin crew and I told him I need to change but my clothes is in the luggage compartment. He told the driver and the driver said he would stop in the next rest area in 5 minutes. I think it was Rest Area Bemban and I took my bag and went into the ladies. I was thankful that I brought along my aloe vera gel. It should help, but it stings! The entire journey was uncomfortable as I was in pain. Later on, I told the cabin crew that I would like to sit at his chair (as it is more upright) and he can sit in mine. We then reached Pagoh rest area, and I went to check my thighs. A lot of blisters have developed. I haven't seen such big blisters before. I applied more aloe vera. Walking is difficult, got to be slow, as it is not just blisters but also swollen. My colleagues said that I walked like those young malay boys who have just gone for circumcision. I am just thankful that I am fleshy enough that the hot water did not affect my private part. So, no more hot drinks on bus and flight. I must get better before Sunday, as my choir is performing.
I had to park at the open car park today so I don't have to walk so much. Then, because my colleague Terry gave David his parking card, David said I can have it for a few days. That's a relief. Even if I have to reimburse him, I will only pay him RM35.00 for 5 days and not RM22.00 for one day only.