The Ultimate Bull Shit System

My company purchased a payroll software called UBS (User Business System). I have encountered some hitch here and there and some can be solved although the consultant said, “This is the first time I heard of this” or when the consultant and I followed the instructions written by one of the colleagues step-by-step, it didn’t work.

It is that time of the year to propose bonus and to do a few simulations as to what is the payout would be like. Most of the employees are not with the company for a year, so whatever we proposed will be on a prorated amount. So I went to the bonus section, and all I could see was “months” or “percentage”. However, I am neither paying by the same month rate for everyone nor by percentage. Our range is between 0.5 months to 2 months. Anyway, even if the company decided to declare 2 months bonus for all, and I key in 2 months, it will not prorate for me. When I asked the consultant, he said it cannot be done. He said I got to do it manually. What?? Means I got to calculate in Excel and then print out and then key-in the figure. But I told him, it is a very basic HR requirement and I am sure every company do have people who join less than a year. He further said that I am the 1st person who asked this question. Really BS! (Pardon my language). It is funny, if UBS asked for date joined, and then when month end when we do the salary, it will automatically calculate what the new employee will get if he/she did not join the complete month. So why can’t it do for bonus??? I told him, if nobody ask you this question before, then all the HR people are hopeless. Hello, I am in HR for 16 years!

So I guess UBS is only for companies who only give out bonus to employees who are with the company for one year and above or it is not for a company who has employees who joined less than a year, or gives out fixed-month bonuses.

What else can’t UBS do:-

• Can’t churn out a report for you if you want to see the whole employees’ list. If you want designation, years of experience, increment, etc – it can only fit limited information and does not have any indication to say that it cannot fit in one page.
• If you want to pay salary earlier to Malays or Chinese first, there is no way to segregate it. I had to make the Malays pay under Bank and the rest of the races pay by cheque. So when I want to give the info to the bank, I will just query those pay by Bank, so for this time since all the Malays are paid by bank, their names will come out first. Then when I want to pay the rest of the employees, I got to do the same to the Malays. So troublesome.
• Can’t count prorated bonus. Their function is only by months or percentage and this is only for those who have worked one year or more. Less than one year, no bonus???
  

I called this system – the Ultimate Bullshit System. My advise to HR Managers or Payroll Managers, don’t buy UBS and before you invest in any system, please do a trial run. Even the most expensive system like SAP, will have its own limitations! These vendors are out there to rip off!